Posted by Esther on Feb 9, 2010 in
Couples,
Stress and Relaxation Today, for the first time in 5 days, I left my house. It was a desperate act to break free of what was becoming a chronic case of cabin fever. And while I really enjoyed my icy drive to Target (it brought back fond memories of my early driving years in the snow of upstate New York) I also found a renewed desire to find ways to enjoy my extended family togetherness. With predictions of another 5 or more inches of snow tonight I thought I would share some of my tips with all of you.
Get Nostalgic- the snow always gets me reminiscing on early part of my marriage when we lived in New Hampshire and other snowy places and even my own childhood in Syracuse. These fond and often funny memories of adventures from long ago make for great stories to share with your kids. It’s also a great way to reconnect with the warm and magical feeling that comes with the early stages of love. Just when you think you can’t stand to look at your partner for another second, you remember the funny thing he said on your first date or the way she looked so beautiful in the old red sweater and suddenly annoyance can turn into affection.
Get Playful-for most of us the snow means work and we have forgotten the joy of making a snow angel or secretly eating a handful of the fluffy stuff (just not the yellow spots!). As I drove through icy streeets and past mounds of snow as tall as my car, I also remembered the joy of digging a fort or building a snowman. The one nice thing about this kind of massive snow storm is that many of us are able to stay home from work. make the most of these unexpected days off and go outside and play. Or stay inside and play a board game or teach your kid how to play poker. As a adults we spend far too much time being busy; use the snow as a great excuse to do the things you never have time to do like play video games with your kid or go outside and make snow angels with your husband
Get Romantic- like many people in the area my in-laws were without power for a day or 2 this weekend. For the first day they opted to stay home and “ride out the storm”. Mostly I thought they were crazy, especially since we live pretty close by and had plenty of heat and hot water at our house. But part of me was a little envious of their romantic day cuddled by the fire with nothing to do but be with each other and talk. Its so easy to get irritable when life hands us an unexpected curve ball, like 2 feet of snow in Northern Virginia! But with a subtle shift in perspective you can turn cabin fever into a passionate evening for two or at least a loving day for 3 (or 4 or how ever many are in your family). Snuggle by the fire, watch a favorite movie, cook a romantic meal or try a bubble bath for two. You can also take some inspiration from the couple behind Gray Photography who have artfully combined romance and playfulness by building a fort in the living room…
thanks to Zach & Jody of @GrayPhotography for sharing this on Twitter
Tags: Couples, Family Stuff, snow
Posted by Esther on Jan 28, 2010 in
Teenagers,
books and articles Most of us are familiar with J.D. Salinger’s work. If for no other reason than most high schools required students to read Catcher in the Rye. I must admit that while I am an avid fan of his work, I’ve never read the calssic novel. I love Franny and Zooey and own several of collections of his short stories but somehow this tale of a troubled teen and the somewhat more troubled adults in his life slipped by me.
With the passing of this great author I was struck by how much of his writing resonated with teenagers even decades later. Adolescence is a hard time in life and so often as adults we become so wrapped up in our own stressors that we forget the challenges of that part of our life. One of the biggest complaints of parents and teenagers is the disconnection they feel with each other.
I have found that its often because we are both so wrapped up in our own experiences. As parents we minimize what is happening for our children as silly or trivial and our children write us off as out-of-touch and inaccessible. I think Salinger, and authors like him, have given us parents a reminder of what its like for our children and unique opportunity to relive some of those moments, this time with the wisdom of adulthood.
In honor of his passing I’ll be picking up my first copy of Catcher in the Rye tonight. Maybe I’ll read it with my son and for a little while we can connect around the universal themes of self exploration and social alienation that invariably is part of the growing up process.
For a look at some of his short stories, visit the New Yorker magazine online.
Tags: JD Salinger, parenting, reading, teens
The last couple weeks has demonstrated the power of technology to connect and inspire our global community. As millions of people took to the internet via Twitter and Facebook and other social media outlets to share what was happening and lend their support of Haitians, I was struck by how much digital information has become a corner stone of our lives. I am meeting more and more therapists who offer e-counseling via the phone or email and even met (on Twitter, of course) another MFT who sees clients via Skype!
While I am amazed and impressed with the ways in which we can connect to each other virtually, I am also left worrying about our tendency to isolate ourselves in reality. In this technologically advance world, it is easy to stop connecting with people in real life. But it is in real life that true intimacy is formed and nurtured. Only face-to-face can you begin to know the full spectrum of another person’s personality and spirit. I am not minimizing the positive impact of our information age but I am suggesting that it can come between us and the possibilities of real life. This week I am challenging you all to turn off the computers and iPhones and blackberrys and reconnect with the real people in your life.
Read my new column at I Am Modern on this very issue… new column topics are posted weekly!
Tags: All About Therapy, e-therapy, technology
Check out my guest post on The Toolbox at Lisa Kift Therapy….. teaching teenagers about the emotional aspects of dating. Here’s an excerpt:
We are all familiar with the public service announcements encouraging parents to talk to their children about drugs and alcohol, internet s
afety, and sex. I even saw one recently about safe driving habits like not texting or eating behind the wheel. But have you ever wondered why aren’t parents encouraged to talk about love and dating? I mean we know that when parents talk to their children about smoking and share their values about sex or alcohol that they can influence kids to make better choices. So why aren’t we being called to influence our children to make good relationship choices?
How to date may not seem like it should rank very high among the many other issues facing teenagers today. The use and abuse of drugs and alcohol, eating disorders and body image issues, and even the rise of cyber bullying all seem like greater threats to our children than dating the “wrong guy” (or girl). Yet when you consider that almost ¾ of all 8th graders are dating; and, according to the CDC, by high school more than half of them will experience some form of dating violence (either emotional, physical, or sexual) suddenly healthy relationships becomes a much higher priority on the “keeping our kids safe” list. In a world filled with distorted images of love and intimacy- ranging from unrealistic fairy tale romances to sexually explicit, emotionally detached affairs to violent and controlling examples of “love”- our children need guidance now more than ever. Read the full article here…
Tags: dating, intimacy, love, parenting, relationships, teens
Posted by Esther on Jan 15, 2010 in
GTA Services & Events As we continue to watch in horror the disaster that has happened in Haiti, one can not help but wonder how can I help? There are many amazing organizations on the ground right now that you can support with a financial donation and in time there will be opportunities to even visit and help the citizens of Haiti rebuild. In the meantime, Group Therapy Associates is happy to use our skills to offer the people here that are experiencing grief, anxiety, or just need someone to talk to a compassionate ear.
Anyone struggling with the effects of this devastating event can recieve 1 free hour of therapy. You do not need to be Haitian or have people in Haiti to take advantaage of this service; if the trauma of the current situation is impacting you and you need an opportunity to talk about it, we are here to help. Please spread the word and simply call or email our offices if you or someone you know would like to schedule an appointment.
